Balls, cones and kids

the footy4kids soccer coaching newsletter

Issue 31 - October 2007

behaviour, misbehaviour and adult involvement in youth football

1. These touchline tyrants should take their bawl home

By Jim White

In six years coaching my son's football team I have come to the following conclusion: short of excess intake of alcohol, there is nothing that alters the behaviour of adults for the worse as much as youth football.

Every weekend I stand on the touchline and watch allegedly mature adults screaming at their children, abusing match officials, carrying on as if they were eight years old and had just been denied the present of their choice by Santa. And the team coaches are among the principal offenders. In Britain, almost uniquely, youth football works like this: the dad of one of the team players becomes the coach. In the overwhelming majority of cases he does so without any training, experience or scrutiny. Sometimes, the result is little short of child abuse.

Once, in a game my lads were playing, the rather dopey opposition full back gave away a penalty through a somewhat avoidable handball. Instead of explaining what he had done wrong and advising him on how he might avoid such problems in the future, the boy's coach chose instead to bawl profanities in his face. The attack was personal and sustained. The boy was, the coach informed him, useless, fat and stupid. After what seemed like minutes, standing there with his bottom lip quivering and his eyes filling, the boy could take no more. He ran from the pitch in tears and headed into a copse, where he climbed a tree and sat on a branch for the rest of the match. "Good riddance," the coach shouted after him. "We're better off without you, you useless tosser."

It is worth adding that the game did not involve two teams from the grimy inner city. This took place in leafy Oxfordshire. And the lad concerned was seven years old.

Nor was it an isolated example. Such attitudes are everywhere, smothering our national game in an atmosphere than can be as poisonous as it is claustrophobic. For far too many, winning is all that matters. And everything that facilitates victory – cheating, bullying, poaching players from other teams – is not just tolerated, it is encouraged.

Oddly, the desperate urge for vicarious victory seems only to obtain in boys' football. The other day I refereed a game between two sets of 12-year-old girls and suddenly I felt as if I could breathe more easily. The girls played with smiles rather than snarls. On the touchline parents laughed and encouraged, their coaches were paragons of good cheer.

In its training courses, the FA preaches an enlightened doctrine of sportsmanship and relaxation. Professional clubs enforce strict codes of parental conduct. But that is at the top of the tree. For too many small boys their experience of the beautiful game will be limited to red-faced coaches and snarling parents. No wonder once they reach adulthood, they are giving up football in droves.

Our generation should be ashamed.

first published in the Telegraph

2. Violence and abuse in youth soccer

Violence and abuse in youth sports generally has escalated to an alarming level. News reports like the examples below are not uncommon. From parents tackling opposing players to threatening coaches with firearms to physical fights resulting in arrests, it's not always fun and games in the world of youth soccer:

"A 42 year-old adult man strikes the soccer referee, who happened to also be the town’s mayor, during a match between 11-year-old girls. The coach was sentenced to one year in jail (all but 45 days was suspended), required to attend anger management courses and banned form all youth sports events for a year."

"An upset coach attacks the game referee near a concession stand following a soccer game of 12-year-olds. The coach head butts the official and breaks his nose."²

"The American Youth Soccer Organization (AYSO) has banned one parent and two soccer coaches for life and disbanded two boys soccer teams following the worst brawl in its 35-year history.  About 30 adults were involved in a post-match melee in the southern California town of San Juan Capistrano after a tournament game between the Palmdale Eagles and the Chino Chiefs. Three adults were arrested, one parent needed treatment for a bite, another suffered cuts and a swollen eye and others reported being hit on the head with umbrellas and being threatened by a man swinging a metal rod.  The cause of the melee after the San Juan Capistrano game was unclear but reports from the sheriff's department at the time said violence broke out after an assistant coach for the winning Chino team allegedly tried to pick a fight with a Palmdale player."

"In 2006, two soccer coaches got into a fistfight at a game for 7-year-old girls. A youth football coach attacked a referee, and another went after a 13-year-old opponent. A parent allegedly pulled a .357 Magnum at a football game for 5- and 6-year-olds as he argued over playing time for his son."