Category: Player management

Ideally, the behaviour policy should be written in stone at the beginning of the season, and then consistently followed throughout the season. I, like you, used to start out pretty “relaxed”, and then clamp down as the season progressed. I found this to be ineffective, since even a single play who gets “out of hand” can ruin a training session, or even a game.

Kids, particularly this preteen age, NEED and actually want firm boundaries. It is human nature for these kids to seek out the boundaries. This is the age where their universe grows exponentially in a very short time. They WILL push and push to try to figure out where the boundaries (between acceptable and unacceptable behaviour) are. This is completely natural. You would really have to worry if you did not see it!

Your job, as coach, is to establish the boundaries (and they do have to be appropriate), and then “set them in stone” so that the kids, which will be pushing the envelope at different rates, will KNOW exactly when they reach the boundary, and that boundary will not change from day to day.

Different ages require different approaches, slightly anyway. A U6 player will be pushing the envelope of, for instance, violating the personal space of another player….maybe pushing, or kicking the other players ball away when working on individual 1 ball=1 player exercises. A U12 may do the same thing, but probably for a very different reason, especially if it is a girl, you are likely witnessing the preteen/teen version of bullying. And U14 or U16 may do the same thing, for yet another reason.

The “rules” have to make sense to the players. U12 players can, and do understand about belonging to a group. They probably already have cliques at school, and maybe even on the team.

It is YOUR job to make belonging to the TEAM vastly more important than belonging to some “lesser” group. It is NOT easy. I coach young players myself. I coached a U11G comp team last summer, and regularly coach Jr. High 8th grade teams (girls in spring…starting in a few weeks, and boys in the fall). There is a BIG difference in maturity between the U11 and U14 (8th grade) girls.

There will be an even bigger difference between this same range in boys. But I DO involve the players in the decision-making process early on….what will the focus of the season be (screwing around and socializing, becoming better players and forming a TEAM, winning the most games, etc). If you have never included your team in this process, you are missing an important team-building building block.

Then, you need to establish a set of “rules” that will allow you to meet the goal you set as a team.

For instance, don’t be surprised when the team decides to really buckle down and work hard to become the best players they can in the short season (pretty common decision if you sort of “guide” them to it ;~). I tell my players that this will require a lot of hard work on my part….developing training schedules, practice plans, helping individual players, helping “the team”, getting the parents into “our” mind set, etc. I am willing to do this gladly, but it will not work if I can not communicate on the field to the player, and communicate through the players regularly to the parents. On the field, I cannot get my message across if others are talking. And if we are really going to become the best we can be, I cannot take away valuable training time to explain training exercises to players who were not listening the first time (but I will gladly explain to anyone who doesn’t understand after listening to the initial explanation – that is “my bad” for not explaining it clearly enough the first time ;~) I think you can see where I am going with this. Make it all fit into the master plan that the PLAYERS came up with.

Now, since you are on a roll, letting the players “help establish” the policy, go with it! Talk about consequences when the rules are broken. I am always shocked with the general consensus, which is nearly always MUCH more strict and draconian than I would ever dream up on my own! Man, kids can be tough on themselves ;~)

Your job, as coach, is to keep them focused on making the consequences “logical”. Logical being a consequence that naturally stops the behaviour while maintaining the dignity of the offender. For instance, pushups are rarely a “natural” consequence.

They are a punishment. If players are talking while I am trying to explain a complex training exercise, what does pushups have to do with anything?? In this case, I simply stop talking. I cannot and will not compete with the chit-chat. It usually takes about 5 seconds for some of the more focused players to realize what is happening and “inform” or “remind” the offender ;~) So the team does most of the self policing, as Michael noted. This keeps you from being the “bad guy” in most cases.

Sometimes, it does not work textbook perfect. To continue with the above example: OK, I’ve stopped talking, and instead of some focused players reprimanding the offenders, more players join the chit-chat. I continue my silence, eventually maybe putting my hands on hips, or crossing my arms (this usually gets their attention). If not, I simply walk away and tell the players: This is your team. When you are ready to take your team goals seriously, let me know. I have yet to have this fail. Usually, a couple key (serious) players will take control and rein in the team. Once (with a 8 th grade boys team, another story), I actually left the field and began watching a game on an adjacent field. The team actually started a scrimmage (with pinnies and all), but after about 10 minutes, they huddled, and a couple of players came over, hat in hand to ask me to return and coach them (hmmmm, looks like I found my captains ;~) You cannot leave young kids alone, but you get the idea….Make it their responsibility.

Bottom line: Let the team belong to the team. Let them be part of the planning process. Let them be responsible for the lions share of the policing. You are a coach, not a baby-sitter or policeman.

Make the rules fit into the goals of the team. Make the consequences logical extensions of breaking the rules. Make sure that the consequences are designed to remedy the situation, not punish a player. Preserve the dignity of the offender.

Even extreme nut cases and true trouble makers can be dealt with quite easily (well, easier anyway ;~) using this type of policy. It becomes clear to the TEAM that if someone is disruptive, they are hurting the TEAM goals. It then becomes much easier to apply the extreme logical consequences of reduced playing time (hey, you have not mastered this concept because your were busy sitting away from the team so as not to disrupt them. Even if you DO understand the concept, you did not help your team-mates who could have used your expertise, so they deserve the playing time now so that they can practice it in a game situation….catch my drift?). Even being cut from the team becomes much less personal when team goals are used as the reason.

Finally, most of these concepts will work well with boys or girls over the age of about 10, when the kids can begin seeing the “big picture” (maybe a bit older for boys). This type of policy works extremely well with girls teams, but I have also had very good luck with boys teams as well. Boys DO require some slightly different mind set. They can be real knot heads as they enter their teens.

But the same basic approach seems to work well.

Everyone involved in soccer coaching needs to understand what children want from their ‘ideal’ soccer coach.

Most importantly, it is important to treat children with respect and not as if they were objects. They like you to listen and take notice of their feelings and opinions.

A recent series of interviews with 140 young athletes in different sports gives an idea of those aspects of coaching which young athletes think are important. The opinions, which were given, may change according to sex, age, and sport; these are just the general comments.

Knowledge. Coaches should know their sport well and most children prefer coaches who have participated in the sport. It provides them with credibility.

Personality. Children like coaches who are friendly, happy, patient, understanding and have a sense of humour.

Authority. Children like coaches to be firm but fair, and while boys, particularly, like to be worked hard they don’t like to be shouted at.

Taking personal interest. As they get older and more able, many young athletes like coaches to take an interest in the things they do besides sport.

Reaction to performance. When they do well, children like the coach to say “Well done” but they don’t like them to “go over the top.” (OTT) When they do poorly, they like to be given some encouragement and told what went wrong. They want to be told how to correct mistakes and not to be shouted at or ignored.

Encouragement. Most children, particularly in team sports, like to have the coach shout encouragement to them when they are competing.

Decision making. Few young children express a wish to have a say in the decisions which affect them; they expect coaches to coach and trust them to make the right decisions. As they get older and more experienced, they are more likely to want to be consulted. This may be the case with13+ children

Organisation. Children like coaches to be organised and present structured coaching sessions. They also like them to take responsibility for seeing that they are in the right place at the right time

Instruction and feedback. Children do like to be shown what to do, how to do it and to have mistakes corrected. In short: teach them!

DO:

• Be aware of the effect you have upon growing children.
• Find out what the kids expect to get out of sport with you.
• Be firm, fair and organised.
• Give credit where it is due and give help where it is needed.
• Be consistent.
• Provide learning experiences: teach.
• Make practice and competition fun; it needn’t be silly.
• Set challenging goals tailored to the individual.
• Recognise the value of friendships between children.
• Show your approval whenever you can.
• Listen to the children
• Relax and enjoy yourself with the kids.
• Emphasise learning skill, not competing.
• Reward children for effort.
• Help children over the realisation that they might not have the ability of others.
• Build confidence by being positive.
• Reduce competitive expectations.
• Help those who do not want to compete.
• Tell children about how outcomes are affected by things other than their own ability.
• Remember that mistakes are part of learning.

DON’T:

• Put kids down for not doing as well as you wanted.
• Shout and humiliate them.
• Ignore them when they need some support.
• Blind them with science they don’t need.
• Overdo the praise; they won’t believe you.

the U9 version – by Chris White

Players should:

• Play according to the rules and never argue with the referee or your coach. They are there to help and they can make mistakes, just like you.
• Always train and play to the best of your ability, and encourage others to do the same.
• Don’t lose your temper or get upset. Rudeness, bad temper and sulking spoils everyone’s fun. If you have a problem, tell your coach.
• Respect the opposition. Treat other teams as new friends, you’ll be playing them again one day!
• Look and act like a footballer. That means turning up for training and games on time, looking smart and in the right gear.
• Don’t forget your water bottle!
• Wear the right sort of shoes – trainers on hard surfaces, studded boots on grass.
• Always wear your shinguards.
• Clean your own boots and trainers!
• Enjoy every game whether you win or lose!

There are a number of problems which may occur over the course of a season due to the behaviour of parents or players. These include attendance problems; disruptions/misconduct during practice or games; “overly-helpful” parents; and parents who are chronic gripers. Difficulties in handling these four problems are why most coaches to decide to give up coaching, so it is very important to learn how to deal with them.

Dealing with discipline problems

The first trick in learning to handle players is to establish your authority early. If players do not get the idea that you are the “boss”, and that you will insist that they follow your rules, it will be very difficult to control them. Here are some time-honoured ways to get this message across early.

Tips on Asserting Your Authority

Using “the Voice” and “the Look”

It’s important for players to be able to recognize by your tone of voice and your manner when you intend a no-nonsense directive, or are drawing a boundary which they try to cross at their peril. Yelling does not work. Use a firm voice and a firm look, and DEMAND attention. Make it clear that this is non-negotiable – and your chances that they will listen increase substantially. Watch for their reaction, however. It is easy to scare little ones with a tone of voice which might induce teenagers to slowly think about complying – so adjust to your audience.
The Art of Refocusing Attention

Sometimes a quick, firm word in passing is enough to get things back on track without stopping an ongoing activity. If this doesn’t work, don’t try to yell or frantically run around to get the attention of the players. STOP the group, DEMAND that they all stop talking and look at you, and WAIT until everyone does so before even trying to start with the substance of your remarks. Using “the Voice”, say something like: “Eyes on me. Now.”

If someone starts clowning or chatting in the background after you start trying to talk substance, STOP! Firmly re-demand silence before continuing. Keep doing this until they shut up, even if you spend 20 minutes on a 30 second announcement. Eventually, the other players will start to tell this player to be quiet, because they will get bored standing around. When the disruptive one starts to get negative attention from his peers, the behaviour tends to cease quickly.
Choose Your Battles Wisely

Remember that all young kids misbehave at times. If the child is not normally disruptive or if the disruption is not serious – and is quickly abandoned with a quiet word from you, there is no reason to make a big deal over it.

If you are too stern, and use the proverbial cannon to deal with a small gnat of an offence, this causes two problems. First, the compliant players will start to fear you – and will become so upset by any correction from you that they will tend to freeze up and become afraid to make mistakes for fear of displeasing you (so they won’t learn very well). Secondly, the more spirited or defiant players will figure out that you have already used up all of your ammunition on a trivial offence – so they won’t see any reason why they shouldn’t commit HUGE offences if the punishment is going to be the same anyway. As a result, it is not uncommon to find utter chaos when the coach is not using good judgement on when/how/why/where to punish offences.

How to discipline effectively

When misbehaviour seriously disrupts the activities of the other players (either because it is persistent minor stuff or because of one egregious act), the coach needs to use “the Voice” and “the Look” to stop the behaviour instantly.

It is a good idea to talk in terms of Rules – because players tend to remember Rules better. So, tell them that “Hitting a team-mate is against our Rules”.

Then, get the offender to tell you WHY this is against the rules. Forcing the offender to verbalize why other players might not like to be hit serves two purposes. It shows the other players that this kid knew better AND it causes the offender to suffer some humiliation in front of everyone by admitting that he knew better.

Once the player admits that he knew better, make him apologize. Sure, the apology is likely to be grudging – and delivered under his breath in the general direction of his belly button. But, by forcing him to apologize (and making him go sit out until he does apologize, if he initially refuses) helps to breed good sportsmanship down the line – and helps him to recognize that other players have rights too.

Sometimes, of course, a player may not understand why something is against the Rules. For instance, the little brother of a HS-level player may have seen lots of slide tackles in games, and truly may not understand why you got upset when he took out the ankles of a team-mate with a reckless tackle. In those cases, it is important to explain why you are upset, and to explain what you want in the future.

What if one team-mate started it, and the other finished it? Easy. Make them both apologize, then make the retaliator explain to you how he plans to handle things next time (e.g., come to you; use his words instead of his fists; etc.). However, the instigator should not get off scot-free. Consider giving him an extra “punishment” for starting things. Often, especially with arch-rivals, making the instigator say 5 good things about his adversary is quite effective in healing the wounds all around.
Some Tips on Using “Punishments”

Be careful in using physical activity as punishment. Especially with younger players, learning to associate running or exercise with punishment can cause them to resent that activity when you need them to do this work. Nonetheless, there are times when a quick set of jumping jacks or push-ups may help to refocus the player. As long as these are not onerous (no more than 5-10), the players usually accept the penalty with good humour and no lasting effects. However, if the player is looking for attention and wanting to clown around (or wanting to challenge the coach in some fashion), he will use the penance as an opportunity to have fun at the expense of the coach. As a result, if the coach already knows that he is dealing with a defiant player, the best bet may be to tell the player to go sit out until he can behave.

ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE sanctions is forcing the misbehaving player to sit out during an activity. Giving a time-out can often be very effective. Most players want to be with everyone else – even if they are being disruptive.

Usually, the coach will give the player the option of returning when the player decides to behave. However, if the player is refusing to participate in an activity which he doesn’t like, then the better course is to sit the player out for the remainder of the practice. Otherwise, the coach will send the message to the team that, if you don’t want to do an exercise, just go sit down – and you won’t suffer any penalty. Once the players discover that you don’t get to pick and choose what you do, and you don’t get to scrimmage if you don’t work, the incentives will be reduced to seek a time-out simply to avoid doing work.

Okay, so where should the player be sent to sit out? The ideal spot for a player to sit out is where you (or some responsible adult) can keep them in view, but where they are far enough removed they cannot easily create further distraction for the rest of the group. Where and how far will depend on the player, the setting, and the available supervision. (Don’t let a buddy join them for company; if two players must be sent out, send them to opposite ends of the field).
Sometimes carrots work better!

It’s important to not forget to use carrots as well as sticks. Just as in making corrections, good behaviour should be praised and rewarded to reinforce behaviours you want at practices and games. One of the most effective ways to shape up a whole team that’s half-hearted and distracted about whatever subject is the focus of the day’s activities is to make most players’ favourite part of the practice, THE SCRIMMAGE, contingent on the extent they get with the program. “The sooner we learn to do this, the longer we can scrimmage”.

“Full Moon” Days

Sometimes, your players’ energy and mood simply isn’t a good match for the well- intended practice plan you designed. They’re hopelessly restless, with unbounded energy. If the normally cooperative players are exceptionally wild, and none of the adjustments which you make seem to work, consider simply abandoning the plan for the day – and playing nothing but games (the winners of the last game get to pick the next one). As long as the games are soccer-related, the practice session is probably doing more good than you realize. The kids are getting lots of touches on the ball; team morale is soaring because coach is a good guy (and we got a free day); and coach is able to relax and enjoy watching the players act like a bunch of puppies. Consider it a vacation to recharge the batteries, and just have fun.

Team discipline is crucial to the overall success of any team endeavour. Not only do disciplined teams perform well on the field, but, if teams are able to maintain good discipline both on and off the field, the overall soccer experience is far more positive for all involved; parents, players, coaches and administrators.

In fact, maintaining team discipline is one of the biggest fears or challenges for beginning coaches. Often, coaches are lost or ineffective because they are unable to maintain order and discipline with their team.

Towards the end, I have included several brief suggestions on what I have found to be successful in maintaining good team discipline. Hopefully, you have developed your own “list” of what works for you. If not, let this serve as inspiration to come up with your own system.

1. Plan ahead.

The single most important thing that can help is the coach’s organisation. Here, if it is obvious to the players that practices are conducted in an orderly manner, with clear goals and objectives, they are more likely to treat both the coach and the training time seriously. If practices flow easily from one activity to the other with minimal “down time”, the players are able to stay focused on the task at hand. By making training meaningful and educational, the players will be motivated to pay attention and keep focused.

2. Choose your activities carefully.

There is nothing worse than putting players through “boring” drills that are inappropriate to their playing ability either by being too difficult or too easy. Activities should be fun, challenging and replicate the demands of the game itself. In this way, the players sense that their time is not being wasted. Having activities be competitive motivates them to play their best. Keep the players moving and engaged. Make sure that there are plenty of balls at hand so that taking unnecessary time out to chase the ball does not interrupt a good activity. Even young players will engage themselves in a great game. Remember, your parents will appreciate the fact that their young player comes home and sleeps through the night because they have tired themselves out in healthy, engaging fun activities.

3. Have a clear picture of what appropriate behaviour looks like.

If you know what the players will look like when they are playing the game, you will be able to recognise when they are not playing the game correctly, or not behaving appropriately. This will enable you to step in immediately when inappropriate behaviour is seen. As soon as you notice it, you must deal with it. Having a clear picture in your mind will allow you to be decisive. Then, you should also have a clear picture in your mind of how you are going to deal with the situation. Having players do push ups or run laps as punishment is inappropriate, especially for younger players. Removing them from an activity is more effective. Their primary desire is to be involved in their peer group. Therefore, removing them from the activity is an effective way to deal with problems that occur. As one coach said, “Don’t be afraid to use the bench!”

4. Involve the parents.

Especially with the younger players, having the parents support and reinforcing your discipline policies are crucial. Your expectations for player behaviour should be clearly stated during the preseason parent meeting. Enlist their support. It has been my experience that they will be glad to do so.

5. Remember, you are the role model.

It is always good to remember that our actions are speaking so loudly that the players can not hear what we are saying. If we ask for respect, but show that we don’t respect others (e.g. the referee) then we are asking for problems. If we expect players to be kind to each other, but we are not kind to ourselves, then expect the worst. Model appropriate behaviour and get it in return.

6. Recognise the difference between open acts of defiance and childhood irresponsibility.

“Kids will be kids” is a great phrase that both excuses a lot of inappropriate behaviour, on one hand, and reminds us all that kids make mistakes on the other. When players openly defy, and act inappropriately, then swift, appropriate action is called for. However, when players momentarily forget themselves, and do not show any malicious intent, then a gentle reminder is perhaps more appropriate. Just remember, youngsters are often quite skilful at disguising the two types of behaviour. We all have to be sharp in recognizing the difference so that we can act appropriately.

7. Finally, be sure to put yourself in their shoes.

If we can remember what it is like to be at a fun practice that is both enjoyable as well as educational, we will be better off. Always ask yourself, “What would I like to do if I were at practice and needed to work on my passing?” this will enable you to avoid a lot of possible challenges.

Introduction

I was alerted to the following two articles by a post in the footy4kids soccer coaches forum.

The articles are designed to help coaches who have been with the same team for a number of years and have, perhaps, allowed discipline to slacken off to the detriment of team morale and performance.

However, I think any coach would be well advised to build the principles described below into their coaching philosophy to maintain and proactively improve three essential attributes of their teams – their attitude, morale and discipline.

How to restore discipline to an undisciplined soccer team

from BruceBownlee.com

A soccer coach writes that the team he’s had for several years isn’t showing up for training but players come to matches. Here’s the brief e-mail…

Question

Our team is anything but disciplined. For 3 yrs we have moved up with very little discipline. Is it too late, do we need discipline, or should we just try to get a happy medium? I feel our team could be so much better if the players would have discipline. The players rarely try in practice but show up for games. What do you think?

Some Ideas

In practice, the problem you are observing is the area that is most troublesome for both of us and for most other coaches of players in the transitional years, leaving U14 and heading into U15 and U16. There’s a big difference between how kids feel about soccer in elementary school and middle school, and how they feel about it during the early high school years.

Here are a few ideas about the situation and some options you could consider to try to make improvements. There’s no way to know which of these apply to your situation, so maybe you can just pick the ideas that you find relevant.

Why Discipline and Participation Problems Happen

1. Coach’s uncritical and unrealistic vision of who the players are, who owns the team, and the nature of players’ motivation.

It is easy to be overly sentimental and uncritical of a younger team of kids that you have worked with for several years. The coach may come to look on the team as his or her own team. This may seem only natural and reflect the coach’s care for each of the players and dedication to the coach’s vision of the team’s future. Unfortunately, this isn’t what the soccer team or players need to be most successful, and sets the stage for decay. First, the soccer team doesn’t belong to the coach. Instead, the players and parents have their own agendas and have different expectations about the team. In many cases, it is likely that the players and parents have less confidence in the coach or team than does the coach, and the team may not be very important to some. In any case, having a sentimental or overly optimistic view of the players and team prospects is the root cause of most of the rest of the problems listed below.

Sentimentality or a misplaced sense of ownership can lead the coach to excuse, rather than fix, poor skills and game habits, or to settle for less than the best each player can give. Lack of critical vision leads to inconsistent expectations, slack practices, low intensity, lazy practice participation, lowered morale, less effective player development, and frustratingly inconsistent match results.

The hardest thing for any coach is to realize that player’s and parents aren’t the coach’s “friends”, that the coach does not own the team, and that the coach is responsible for the technical, tactical, physical, and mental development of the team. This has to include not only setting demanding goals and creating challenging training, but also doing critical assessment of players abilities and potentials, and planning to replace players who are not committed and making good progress in developing their abilities.

Lack of critical vision and sentimentality is the most common problem for parent coaches, and the biggest differentiate between the results obtained by parent coaches and those obtained by hired trainers who have no kids on the team. This difference also gives rise to the feeling among parents that hired trainers are too cutthroat in recruiting and replacing players. Sometimes true, sometimes sour grapes, but either way, this is the greatest differentiation, much more of a factor than coaching ability and experience in many cases.

There are a number of problems which may occur over the course of a season due to the behaviour of parents or players. These include attendance problems; disruptions/misconduct during practice or games; “overly-helpful” parents; and parents who are chronic gripers. Difficulties in handling these four problems are why most coaches to decide to give up coaching, so it is very important to learn how to deal with them.
Dealing with discipline problems

The first trick in learning to handle players is to establish your authority early. If players do not get the idea that you are the “boss”, and that you will insist that they follow your rules, it will be very difficult to control them. Here are some time-honoured ways to get this message across early.

Tips on Asserting Your Authority

• Using “the Voice” and “the Look”

It’s important for players to be able to recognize by your tone of voice and your manner when you intend a no-nonsense directive, or are drawing a boundary which they try to cross at their peril. Yelling does not work. Use a firm voice and a firm look, and DEMAND attention. Make it clear that this is non-negotiable – and your chances that they will listen increase substantially. Watch for their reaction, however. It is easy to scare little ones with a tone of voice which might induce teenagers to slowly think about complying – so adjust to your audience.

• The Art of Refocusing Attention

Sometimes a quick, firm word in passing is enough to get things back on track without stopping an ongoing activity. If this doesn’t work, don’t try to yell or frantically run around to get the attention of the players. STOP the group, DEMAND that they all stop talking and look at you, and WAIT until everyone does so before even trying to start with the substance of your remarks. Using “the Voice”, say something like: “Eyes on me. Now.”

If someone starts clowning or chatting in the background after you start trying to talk substance, STOP! Firmly re-demand silence before continuing. Keep doing this until they shut up, even if you spend 20 minutes on a 30 second announcement. Eventually, the other players will start to tell this player to be quiet, because they will get bored standing around. When the disruptive one starts to get negative attention from his peers, the behaviour tends to cease quickly.

• Choose Your Battles Wisely

Remember that all young kids misbehave at times. If the child is not normally disruptive or if the disruption is not serious – and is quickly abandoned with a quiet word from you, there is no reason to make a big deal over it.

If you are too stern, and use the proverbial cannon to deal with a small gnat of an offence, this causes two problems. First, the compliant players will start to fear you – and will become so upset by any correction from you that they will tend to freeze up and become afraid to make mistakes for fear of displeasing you (so they won’t learn very well). Secondly, the more spirited or defiant players will figure out that you have already used up all of your ammunition on a trivial offence – so they won’t see any reason why they shouldn’t commit HUGE offences if the punishment is going to be the same anyway. As a result, it is not uncommon to find utter chaos when the coach is not using good judgement on when/how/why/where to punish offences.

• How to discipline effectively

When misbehaviour seriously disrupts the activities of the other players (either because it is persistent minor stuff or because of one egregious act), the coach needs to use “the Voice” and “the Look” to stop the behaviour instantly.

It is a good idea to talk in terms of Rules – because players tend to remember Rules better. So, tell them that “Hitting a team-mate is against our Rules”.

Then, get the offender to tell you WHY this is against the rules. Forcing the offender to verbalize why other players might not like to be hit serves two purposes. It shows the other players that this kid knew better AND it causes the offender to suffer some humiliation in front of everyone by admitting that he knew better.

Once the player admits that he knew better, make him apologize. Sure, the apology is likely to be grudging – and delivered under his breath in the general direction of his belly button. But, by forcing him to apologize (and making him go sit out until he does apologize, if he initially refuses) helps to breed good sportsmanship down the line – and helps him to recognize that other players have rights too.

Sometimes, of course, a player may not understand why something is against the Rules. For instance, the little brother of a HS-level player may have seen lots of slide tackles in games, and truly may not understand why you got upset when he took out the ankles of a team-mate with a reckless tackle. In those cases, it is important to explain why you are upset, and to explain what you want in the future.

What if one team-mate started it, and the other finished it? Easy. Make them both apologize, then make the retaliator explain to you how he plans to handle things next time (e.g., come to you; use his words instead of his fists; etc.). However, the instigator should not get off scot-free. Consider giving him an extra “punishment” for starting things. Often, especially with arch-rivals, making the instigator say 5 good things about his adversary is quite effective in healing the wounds all around.
Some Tips on Using “Punishments”

Be careful in using physical activity as punishment. Especially with younger players, learning to associate running or exercise with punishment can cause them to resent that activity when you need them to do this work. Nonetheless, there are times when a quick set of jumping jacks or push-ups may help to refocus the player. As long as these are not onerous (no more than 5-10), the players usually accept the penalty with good humour and no lasting effects. However, if the player is looking for attention and wanting to clown around (or wanting to challenge the coach in some fashion), he will use the penance as an opportunity to have fun at the expense of the coach. As a result, if the coach already knows that he is dealing with a defiant player, the best bet may be to tell the player to go sit out until he can behave.

ONE OF THE MOST EFFECTIVE sanctions is forcing the misbehaving player to sit out during an activity. Giving a time-out can often be very effective. Most players want to be with everyone else – even if they are being disruptive.

Usually, the coach will give the player the option of returning when the player decides to behave. However, if the player is refusing to participate in an activity which he doesn’t like, then the better course is to sit the player out for the remainder of the practice. Otherwise, the coach will send the message to the team that, if you don’t want to do an exercise, just go sit down – and you won’t suffer any penalty. Once the players discover that you don’t get to pick and choose what you do, and you don’t get to scrimmage if you don’t work, the incentives will be reduced to seek a time-out simply to avoid doing work.

Okay, so where should the player be sent to sit out? The ideal spot for a player to sit out is where you (or some responsible adult) can keep them in view, but where they are far enough removed they cannot easily create further distraction for the rest of the group. Where and how far will depend on the player, the setting, and the available supervision. (Don’t let a buddy join them for company; if two players must be sent out, send them to opposite ends of the field).
Sometimes carrots work better!

It’s important to not forget to use carrots as well as sticks. Just as in making corrections, good behaviour should be praised and rewarded to reinforce behaviours you want at practices and games. One of the most effective ways to shape up a whole team that’s half-hearted and distracted about whatever subject is the focus of the day’s activities is to make most players’ favourite part of the practice, THE SCRIMMAGE, contingent on the extent they get with the program. “The sooner we learn to do this, the longer we can scrimmage”.
“Full Moon” Days

Sometimes, your players’ energy and mood simply isn’t a good match for the well- intended practice plan you designed. They’re hopelessly restless, with unbounded energy. If the normally cooperative players are exceptionally wild, and none of the adjustments which you make seem to work, consider simply abandoning the plan for the day – and playing nothing but games (the winners of the last game get to pick the next one). As long as the games are soccer-related, the practice session is probably doing more good than you realize. The kids are getting lots of touches on the ball; team morale is soaring because coach is a good guy (and we got a free day); and coach is able to relax and enjoy watching the players act like a bunch of puppies. Consider it a vacation to recharge the batteries, and just have fun.